Chapter 1
Padmé Amidala awoke to red gold streams of sun coming from outside the tall, grand windows of her bedchambers at Varykino, her beloved lake retreat. She looked to the small glass jewelry box, "Padmé Naberrie" written beautifully in gold on the side, that held her new most prized possession, her wedding ring. It was not fond memories of being back at home that prompted her small secretive smile this morning, however, it was the feeling of a warm body next to her and a strong arm draped over her middle.
It had taken a moment for reality to set in, and her smile widened as she said softly to herself, "Not Padmé Naberrie or even Padmé Amidala, it's Padmé Skywalker now." Beside her, her new husband stirred, but didn't wake.
Padmé cautiously turned towards him, trying not to wake him, she couldn't help it, she just loved to look at him. He had the most beautiful eyes, in waking and sleep. His long lashes sweeping his high masculine cheekbones softly. No man should be this beautiful, Padmé smiled to herself.
She knew he was as tired as she after the events of the last couple of days, and hesitated to wake him, but she couldn't resist running her fingers lightly through his russet blond hair. Years of training, and the strong ability to feel things before they happened snapped Anakin's eyes open before she touched him.
"Good morning", he smiled, immediately relaxing, "and how was your evening, m'lady?"
His eyes held a glimmer, "m'lady" coming out teasingly. On his face a knowing smile, for he knew exactly how her evening went, it had gone gloriously. After weeks of dancing around and denying feelings, the couple had decided to grab what happiness they could and get married in the short time that Anakin would be on Naboo, escorting Senator Amidala back after the harrowing events on Geonosis. While on the journey over, both had decided that a secret marriage was much more attractive than a long empty life devoid of true happiness. What came now was destiny, as Anakin liked to say.
"Oh, I believe that last night would classify as one of my better nights..." Padmé teased, as she moved her mouth closer for a kiss. "I believe I could get used to having a Jedi underfoot...most of the time", she teased. In reality, she could stay in this room forever, without food or water, the way she was feeling right now. She smiled to herself, and how long ago was it that galactic politics and careers felt like the most important things? She looked into the warm, handsome face of her husband thinking, I must have been crazy.
"So what do we do today, visit your parents and sister?" Anakin said. "Or we could see some paintings in the museum, or we could just stay right here." The latter was said with a devilish gleam in his eyes.
Padmé chewed her bottom lip. In their haste, she had not thought of telling her family or how it could affect them even. Would they be upset or unapproving? Somehow, Padmé didn't think so. Her family had always wanted her happiness, and although this was sudden and could be detrimental to her career, she still had no doubt that if it made her happy, it would make them happy. And it made her happy.
Later that day, the hoverlift stopped outside the Naberrie home entrance. Well, here goes nothing, Anakin thought to himself, or everything. He had a feeling it had been different when he was the Jedi protecting their daughter, somehow now he had to fit in as a new husband. A wave of trepidation rolled over Anakin, somehow it always felt he was trying desperately to get someone to like him, and somehow it felt as if they never did.
The door swung open to find Ruwee, Padmé's father standing there. "Well hello!" he boomed, smiling jovially.
"Padmé?" called a feminine voice from inside. It was her mother Jobal.
"Hello mother." Padmé smiled. "You've met Anakin, my protector."
"Anakin," Jobal said her smile wide, "how nice to see you again!"
"Come, come inside" she said as she shooed them in.
After some light conversation and much warning that Padmé shouldn't ever put herself in that kind of danger again, the conversation turned. "Something's on your mind, Padmé." Ruwee always knew when his younger daughter was keeping something.
Padmé looked at her hands in her lap. She had worn her ring this morning, knowing that while she was on Naboo would be one of the only times in a long time she would be able to wear it in the open like the treasure that it was. Soon it would go on a chain around her neck to be kept close to her heart, and out of sight, she thought miserably. A tiny, infinitesimal shudder of dread scurried across her at the thought of returning to Coruscant to a life without Anakin, and what would come in months and years ahead.
"Padmé?" Anakin softly nudged, sensing her parents' impatience to know what was going on, for they knew -- something was going on.
Still looking at her ring, Padmé said, "Anakin and I married yesterday." There was a small silence as her parents digested the information their daughter had imparted. Beside her, Padmé felt Anakin swallow.
"I see." Ruwee was the first to speak. "Had you been planning this long?"
"No sir," Anakin said, looking down, he felt the need to speak, if only to stop his heart from beating so fast.
"We felt it was right, after what we've been through." Padmé said. "My whole life, I've put things first that have come to not even be worth the heartache."
"While on Geonosis, Anakin and I were almost executed." Padmé heard Jobal's sharp intake of breath. "I came to the conclusion that I could live the rest of my life with the weight of the galaxy on my shoulders and come to my end childless, alone and disappointed, or I could take the happiness that destiny is offering me and trust that this is for the best. And when I am with Anakin, I am loved, mother and father." Padmé looked at them beseechingly.
"This completes me in a way that I could not have imagined. Sola had told me before of the peace that comes of giving yourself to another and having another give themselves to you. I am happier now than I have ever been." With that, Padmé looked down, willing herself to swallow the tears that come to her eyes. She had not known the depth of her love of Anakin until that moment, and it hit her like a permacrete ball in the chest.
Anakin reached over and took her hand in his. He's so strong and his comfort is always there, she thought to herself.
"I love Padmé, please...let me take care of her." Anakin wanted them to say something...anything.
"You have taken good care of her so far, I suppose we couldn't ask for a more qualified husband to keep Padmé safe, what will happen in your order?"
Padmé shifted in her seat, "Anakin and I must keep our marriage a secret, unfortunately." She looked down again, she seemed to find great interest in her lap this day, but she knew if she looked up she would lose her composure, and she so wanted her parents to know that her marriage was not to be thought of as a bad situation.
"I'd like to hear from Anakin, if you don't mind, Padmé." Ruwee seemed to be searching for something. "What happens if the Jedi find out that you've married and broken your code?"
Anakin winced, he looked straight ahead and said somberly, "I will leave the order if need be. I love her that much. She is my life now."
Ruwee sighed. "If you're happy, and this is what you feel is your calling, we are happy for you Padmé."
Ruwee turned to Anakin and extended his hand. "Welcome to the family, son. Now, shall we go find Sola and her family and tell them the wonderful news?"
Anakin visibly breathed a sigh of relief, and then smiled warmly at Ruwee and Jobal. His beautiful smile shows his heart, thought Jobal, she silently thanked the Force, her daughter could have done much worse.
As they lay together later, Anakin watched his wife sleep. How had he gotten so lucky? He had dreamed of lying beside her for the last ten years. At one time Anakin thought that no one could take his mother's place in his life. A Jedi was to form no attachments, and his mother was considered an attachment, but no matter how hard he had tried, he could not close the door on his life with his mother.
As far back as he could remember family is what he wanted from this life. Somewhere along the way, the Force had decided that his life would take a different path. Whatever the Chosen One was supposed to do, sometimes he felt as if he had no control and he was being led like a blind man through this life, by some unknown hand that pointed ominously at the crossroads, never leading him to the true Jedi way. He had always wondered why it seemed so easy for Obi-Wan and the other Jedi to remain detached from their emotions and feelings and he could not. The more he tried to please Obi-Wan, the more he seemed to displease him. Sometimes he could see himself saying and doing things that were not the way, and like someone looking on from outside, could do nothing to stop his treacherous words or halt his impatient actions. My emotions rule me, he thought wearily.
With that he looked back at his wife and knew that somehow this couldn't be wrong. For what was Force for, if not to lead us through love? How could love be wrong? He closed his eyes, giving in to slumber, he would need his rest, for tomorrow he would begin the sad journey to Coruscant without Padmé.
Chapter 2
Padmé nibbled at her breakfast, she was too excited to eat. Dreading the ordeal of getting into her traveling clothes, she put off donning her under layers until after she'd eaten. It had been six months since she had had to wear her senatorial attire. Exhilarated at the thought of going back to Coruscant, she could hardly finish her meal. Dormé appeared at her door.
"Are you ready to begin dressing milady?"
Dormé had returned to Naboo two days before to be relieved of her duties as Padmé's decoy in the Senate, for Padmé felt it more than high time that she got control of her life back. With control she would also get the added and most important pleasure of seeing her husband again, at least for a short time.
She was using this Senate session as an excuse to go back, but in truth she wanted to celebrate her husband passing the trials three months earlier. She knew that now that he was a Jedi Knight, it wouldn't be long before he was on the battlefield, he had been put in a Jedi fight ship already. This thought caused her blood to run cold in her veins, because even though she had come to tolerate the time away from him, she could not live without him. She wanted this war to be over so that she and Anakin could get on with their lives. There was no hope of Anakin and herself getting any significant time on Naboo with the war going on. Anakin had told her that they would deal with the Jedi finding out about their marriage when and if the time came.
It had been 6 months since they parted on Naboo after their wedding. Anakin had gotten a real replacement arm for the prosthesis he'd been wearing during their honeymoon. Even though the new arm was unnoticeable and lifelike, she still thought with a twinge of sadness that she would miss the temporary one. It certainly didn't hinder him at all, Padmé thought, and felt her cheeks go red.
**********
Obi-Wan watched Anakin stride across the hangar floor. Anakin waved at Obi. Force, has he always been that tall? His height was imposing, but in a more powerful than menacing way. Anakin wore his confidence like he wore his new arm, comfortably. He wasn't prideful however, in fact, a few months after Anakin's return to Coruscant, Anakin had approached Obi-Wan with the subject of the trials.
Obi had seemed more open to the idea, for truly Anakin had seemed more at peace in the last few months than he had ever seen him. Maybe with the Senator Amidala episode behind him, things could go back to normal for his former padawan, maybe they could even get better, and then Anakin had confessed the events on Tatooine. He did eventually take his trials 3 months ago, but the delay was a precaution the Council felt they must take.
Anakin crossed in front of Obi-Wan's ship and extended his right hand. "I can't tell the difference!" Obi marveled. Anakin pulled him into a loose embrace.
"Yes, the medical droids have done well," Anakin said with a slight blush, losing his arm was still a sore subject and he didn't like to dwell on it. His pride was still hurt and he had to occupy his mind with other thoughts to keep images of creative ways to send Dooku back to the Force at bay.
After the incident on Tatooine, Anakin felt he didn't know himself or his own strength in the Force, and it scared him. He still had nightmares about telling Obi-Wan and Master Yoda. It had not been pleasant, and had landed him in front of the Council with serious repercussions and the delaying of his trials.
In the end, the Council allowed him "solitary time" to heal his emotions and meditate on his wrongdoings. He had done that in confinement at the temple, after which he went straight away to Naboo, as being alone tormented him more than anything, he tried to grasp the reason but couldn't.
Pulling himself back to the present, Anakin smiled at Obi-Wan and said, "Should we head to the senate building?"
"Of course, after you," Obi-Wan said, a little unused to the new Anakin he was seeing. Anakin seemed to lose himself in thoughts more these days, and usually seemed somber and quiet when in the company of other Jedi. In fact, the only time that Obi saw Anakin loosen up was when working his saber technique, which he'd heard was becoming more and more impressive.
As the two Jedi knights made their way into the Chancellor's chamber, Anakin lagged behind, feeling trepidation at going inside.
This was the first time he'd been in front of some of the members of the Council since he was sent to confinement for his ordeal on Tatooine. Now, as was then, in the back of his mind he thought, I wonder if they can tell...I wonder if I looked married, I wonder if I look different, or do I look like a Jedi to them at all...funny, sometimes I don't feel like a Jedi anymore. He sighed to himself, he must learn to focus -- he was a fighter pilot now.
"Welcome, my Jedi friends!" Chancellor Palpatine sat behind his large desk behind a panoramic window and looked at Master Yoda, Master Windu, Master Ka Ada Mundi, Obi-Wan and Anakin. "It's so good to have you back with us safe and sound."
"And now I'm afraid I have some news on our current situation." Chancellor Palpatine looked at Master Yoda, "I feel we may have to step up our attacks on the Separatists and we'll need the Jedi to lead these efforts." A wave of dread swept over Anakin, he felt as if the galaxy was spinning out of control, and he and the Jedi were being caught in the maelstrom.
Chapter 3
Padmé stood at the window of her senatorial chambers gazing at the Coruscant sunset. She tentatively put her hand to the glass, smiling. This was the window replaced after Master Obi-Wan jumped out onto an assassin droid. That seemed like ages ago, when in truth it was little less than a year. She smiled again, remembering her surprise at seeing a grown up Anakin that very day. How things develop in our lives...she mused. Tomorrow she would back in the melee of egos, agendas, and beaurocracy.
**********
"Artoo, hand me that wrench!" Anakin had been working on his ship for the last two hours. Since leaving the Chancellor's chambers earlier, he had felt the need for some solitude. Well, he supposed it wasn't total solitude, Artoo was here. Anakin smiled to himself, he had become quite fond of the droid. He didn't know if it was because it was Padmé's droid, or because Artoo seemed to give unconditional love...like a pet. You never had to worry that you were being judged with the little droid, unlike his counterpart See Threepio, who even though he created the droid, he could dance along the edges of Anakin's nerves. Wanna think about what you're doing, Skywalker? He had tightened a bolt too hard and stripped the threads. Great, you'll never get this done... He had been given 2nd command of the unit after a very short time, and his pilots were always teasing that perhaps he should let the mechnodroids do the repairs, but that was almost against Anakin's religion, if there was any fixing to be done, he would do it!
He was just finishing up when his comm unit went off. "Skywalker." His greeting was met with a series of beeps. His heart leapt to his throat. She was here! Anakin gathered his cloak and light saber and ran to the elevator. He had to get cleaned up and meet with the Council to receive his orders, after that, there was a certain senator who had been sorely neglected...
**********
Master Yoda roused himself out of his meditative state to the last rays of the sun for the day. His meditations these days were little more than cloudy, murky images of what could be. The dark side had so embedded itself in the future that sometimes it felt as if it would stifle him as he thought of it. It was a creeping awful thing, winding its way around the senate pods and the Council pillars. He felt as if he could almost touch it, then it would snake itself around his consciousness and disappear, whispering of things that would come. Funny, it was at this time that he thought of the young Jedi Knight Skywalker. He always sensed that when he was in the room with the boy felt he wasn't good enough to be Yoda's company. This had gotten better over that last few months, but Yoda still felt that deep down Skywalker felt he could be a lost soul to be sacrificed to the Force.
Yoda and Master Windu had been watching him in the kai kan sparring sessions, and had marveled at how the lightsaber and he seemed to be one. Anakin had the unique ability to keep the saber moving in one fluid movement, never stopping in the dance with light. It was beautiful to watch. Obi-Wan should be proud. Yoda sensed something else about Anakin that disturbed him. He sensed at times that the Knight was unsure of his path, and that was not something the Jedi needed right now. But one thing was for sure, both he and Mace agreed that this boy had more raw power in the Force than anyone they'd ever come across. It seemed to flow from inside his body through the tip of his light saber, every move hypnotizing. It surrounded him to the point you could almost see it. This Jedi was definitely not your typical Knight, and Yoda felt in his heart that he did indeed hold a special place in the galaxy, they just didn't know what it was yet. He was also sure that more than likely, if there was one who could beat the Sith, it was Anakin.
**********
Obi-Wan and Anakin stood in front of the Council. They had been called along with 45 other Knights to receive their orders. They were the last in the room, and Anakin was beginning to believe that they were going to be there all night. His comm unit had blinked at him two different times. She's going to kill me.
""We're sorry that we have came to you last." Mace Windu's face seemed to mirror the sobriety of the whole room. "Obi-Wan, you will serve under Senator Bail Organa. Your job is to gather the troops assigned to you from Alderaan, and gather on Geonosis. You will leave in a week." Anakin felt Obi-Wan's apprehension through the Force, for he was going into the front lines. Anakin felt a moment of fear and sadness -- what had it come to that this may be the last time he would see Obi-Wan? He made a decision then and there to lay everything on the line. Things that used to seem important no longer held value in these times of trouble. How worthwhile was his life if he was living it in secret?
"Anakin," Mace turned to him now, "you have been selected to Chancellor Palpatine's private service, he has a job at an outpost on Dantooine that he believes requires your skills. You will be given a regimen of new troopers called stormtroopers." Obi-Wan's head jerked up. He looked at Master Yoda in amazement. Anakin was surprised himself. "You will report back to the Chancellor on the progress of the new outpost. He has promised you time off for visits back to Inner Rim while on the assignment so you won't completely be out of touch, but you must leave day after tomorrow."
This was a pretty prestigious post, and something a more seasoned military commander would normally take on. Chancellor Palpatine did believe in him though, as much as his Council, or maybe more, he thought to his chagrin. He hid his smile, for this meant more time in Coruscant airspace while assigned to Datooine, even if he couldn't make to Naboo as often, maybe he would at least get to see Padmé on Coruscant, especially if his news to the Council was received badly. Anakin shuddered, his life was about to change, that much he knew with a certainty, but the galaxy was changing with him.
Anakin took a deep breath and spoke the words he'd been getting the nerve up to speak for the last 10 minutes. "Masters Yoda and Windu, I would like to speak to you again tomorrow, before leaving for my post, if you agree."
"Agree we do, Jedi Skywalker, speak now we can if you'd like." Yoda sensed some turmoil in the young man.
"I'm sorry, I know we are all tired, I'd rather come before you tomorrow, if I may."
"Of course, Anakin", Mace offered up, "you may stop by after your morning sessions."
Anakin bowed, "Thank you."
Obi-Wan looked at him curiously.
"You should probably be here too," Anakin said as he looked at the floor, he couldn't look him in the eyes.
**********
Padmé lay on her bed, she had been up waiting for hours it felt. In reality, it hadn't really been that long, but she hadn't seen Anakin in months and she missed him terribly. She had gotten to see him briefly while the senate session was going on. She fingered the ring that lay against her breast. He had looked at her with so much intensity that she wanted to scream to these people that this was her husband and the stupid rules that governed this Republic were outdated and barbaric, but that might have been a little out of line. She had trouble controlling herself where Anakin was concerned.
He had changed a little, he seemed to have grown a little taller even, if that was possible. His shoulders seemed wider and he no longer had the innocent baby face she had so loved running her fingers over. His hair had grown into long sandy blond locks that touched his shoulder and he wore a modified beard that covered his upper lip and chin only. The blond beard gave him an air of elegance, but he also looked a bit the rogue. No, he didn't look the same, but he still was the most handsome man in the galaxy, even if he did look a bit more menacing.
His face had a more adult air, and Padmé knew that he had seen things in the six months of battle that had probably robbed him, and robbed them of their innocence. She had also noticed that he wore two braids on either side of his head, pinned back just above the ears with circular discs with ornate carvings on them. The discs were small, about the size of her finger tip, she knew they were of Tatooine origin. She must remember to ask him about these, as she was most curious.
She was just starting to think about the meaning of Anakin's unique styling, when she heard a rustle at her bedroom door. She held her breath, her heart beating fast, she knew who it was. She jumped up and ran to her husband's arms.
"Oh Anakin, I was beginning to think I wasn't going to see you tonight!" she whispered as she stood on her toes to wrap her arms around his neck.
"I did too," he smiled looked down at her. His appearance might have changed some, but it was still the same lopsided grin she loved smiling back through the beard.
"I missed you so much," Anakin said as he picked her up and walked to the bed.
"I missed you also, what kept you?" Padmé asked.
Anakin told Padmé of his assignment. "When will I see you again?" Padmé asked, lips trembling. Anakin took her chin between his fingers. "I hope very soon, angel."
Anakin stood up. "Padmé, I want to tell the Jedi Council of our marriage."
His sentence hung in the air for what seemed like a lifetime. When he turned to look at Padmé, he saw the look of shock and fear on her face. She felt it too.
"Please support me on this. Hopefully there won't be too much scandal, can you manage?"
Padmé continued to look at him without speaking.
"I don't know how much longer I can keep this up with the war going on, Padmé please!"
"I don't know where I belong anymore, and it gets harder and harder to shield when there are others things pulling at my mind. The fact that I love you and I want to be with you pulls at it most. I want to have children Padmé, don't you see, don't you want that too? We can never live a normal life and I'm sorry I suggested it back on Naboo. I will tell the Council and if they expel me, so be it, that is my destiny. I'm in the military now anyway and the Jedi life is soon becoming a way of the past until this horrible war is over."
"Oh Anakin, all this talk of destiny scares me." Padmé moved towards him and wrapped her arms around his waist. She leaned her head against his chest. "If this is what you want, then I think we should do it."
Anakin bent down and kissed her. "Thank you for understanding, I treasure you."
"You look like a pirate these days, Ani", Padmé said as she winked. "A very good looking pirate, nevertheless. What is the new hairstyle for?"
Anakin smiled, he thought maybe she hadn't notice how his appearance had changed.
"One braid is for you and one is for my mother, when I cut my padawan braid I wanted to keep honoring the two most important people in my life. I also used part of my padawan braid to keep Obi-Wan's place with me. It comforts me on the battle field and in my ship." He smiled sheepishly.
"And the discs?" Padmé asked.
"The discs are from Tatooine, they were given to me by one of my pilots in honor of our home. I've never really had a home, besides the Jedi Temple, and this honors my heritage. A little silly, I know."
"Not at all my love," Padmé said,"now about those children..." She playfully drug Anakin to the bed. Later as she lay there watching Anakin sleep, she wondered where this was going to take them and prayed that it would be okay.
Chapter 4
Anakin woke up to the sound of his commlink beeping. Who would be trying to communicate with him at this hour? He had barely fallen asleep, granted it was almost sunrise, but he hadn't gotten to sleep until a couple of hours ago. "Skywalker", he spoke into the comm.
"Good morning, Anakin." It was Chancellor Palpatine, at this time of the morning?
Anakin swept himself out of the bed. "What can I do for you Chancellor?"
"I'd like a word with you this morning, if you'd allow me." He sounded as if he'd been up for hours. Anakin had heard he hardly ever slept and pretty much worked around the clock.
"Yes sir, I'll be there momentarily."
The figure that had been silently stationed in the hallway alcove by Senator Amidala's apartment moved stealthily when Skywalker finally emerged the chambers. Making sure to keep within twenty or thirty feet behind him at all times he followed until the young Jedi went into the Chancellor's chambers.
As the Jedi waited to be summoned in the parlor, the silent officer in the hall spoke into the comm unit on his wrist, "You were right, Chancellor sir, Skywalker emerged from Senator Amidala's chambers this morning."
"You have your instructions officer," Chancellor Palaptine spoke into the unit on his desk quietly.
The Chancellor motioned for the red robed guard to summon the Jedi into his chambers.
"Good morning, young Skywalker!"
"Good morning, your excellency," Anakin said as he bowed.
"I suppose your wondering why I am calling for your services so early in the morning." The Chancellor's smile seemed to make Anakin even more uneasy.
"I've heard something Anakin, that is quite disturbing, and hearing thought you might like to have someone to speak with." The Chancellor's demeanor was not accusing or intimidating, yet it seemed to have an air of smugness. Anakin silently berated himself for being so analytical, still...
"I won't offend you by beating around the proverbial bush, shall we say...I know of your relationship with Senator Amidala." With the Chancellor's words, Anakin felt he'd been dealt a blow to the mid-section, he tried to focus on breathing and looked straight ahead. Trying to remain calm, or at least look like he was when in reality his heart felt like it would beat out his chest. So, destiny had decided it would come sooner...
"Mind you, this matter is not concerning to me," Palpatine continued, "but I'm sure your Council will see it differently. Please realize it is only you and your interests I am thinking of, my young Skywalker."
"I'd like to help you Anakin, as I said many times before, you are the most gifted Jedi I've ever seen, and I'd hate to see your talent go to waste. If your Council insists that your marriage be severed, come to me, and I will do what I can. I'm going to let you get to your duties, I just wanted to show my support and tell you to beware, many would try to keep your talents for themselves. I'm afraid that not only you, but your wife, my good friend Senator Amidala, would pay the price."
Anakin's face went white at the thought of the Jedi or anyone else harming Padmé to keep her from him. The thought made him frightened and furious at the same time. He was sure that control would be beyond him given his previous dealings with having his loved ones taken from him. It was a thought he could not behold, having his wife taken from him...or worse. He looked down at his hands, they were shaking furiously.
Palpatine seemed to be watching him cautiously. Anakin bowed, "Your excellency, have a pleasant day." With that, Anakin's cape swirled around him as he strode from the Palpatine's quarters.
In the Jedi temple, the Council was interrupted by a lone messenger bearing a note to Master Windu. After reading the message, he passed it to Yoda. It simply said,
Your chosen one has married. The truth is there, ask him.
**********
Anakin watched as Obi-Wan came up the hall in the council waiting chambers, he smiled, even though his heart wasn't in it. "Master Kenobi," he bowed.
"Good morning Anakin!" Obi-Wan seemed genuinely glad to see him this morning.
Obi-Wan noticed the tight lines of apprehension around Anakin's eyes and mouth, and ripples of sizzling foreboding snaked up his consciousness through the Force. "Is there anything I should know before going in to the Council this morning?"
Anakin looked as if he was going to say something, at that time Mace Windu appeared at the door. "Please come in." He looked at Anakin and then to Obi-Wan.
Once inside, Anakin felt his insides freeze up. This was it, they knew, and he cursed himself for not doing his duty and leaving the Order earlier. He had that choice when he married Padmé. The choice for a wife, for a family, for love...and for life... The rule forbidding attachment was a strict one, one that Anakin had tried but could not live with. He felt things more strongly than his peers, of that he had no doubt. It could be a blessing; most times it was a curse.
"Anakin," Master Windu brought him out of his reverie. "I believe you have something to say to us."
Anakin bowed, waited a minute, and then started. "Forgive me, Masters, for I have been keeping something from you. The Council stared, nothing showing on their faces.
"Upon returning to Naboo after the Battle of Genosis, Senator Amidala and I were married." He heard Obi-Wan's swift intake of breath. "I realize the shame I should feel as a Jedi Knight, but I can't. I love my wife more than life itself. I know this is to curse oneself in the Jedi's eyes." Anakin stopped momentarily watching the faces of his Masters somberly.
"Tell me Anakin, would you have brought us this news had you not been found out?" Master Windu asked, his look was wary, but intense.
"Yes, I had planned on doing this morning." Anakin could feel his shame turn to anger. He remembered standing here as a nine year old while this Council talked of him like he was nothing, certainly not standing here in front of them. They had told Qui-Gon that he would not be trained. What would have become of him had they not changed their minds, he did not know. Perhaps he would have died on the streets of Coruscant.
He drew himself up and then carried on. "I am quitting the Order."
Anakin could hear Obi-Wan through the Force, /Why are you doing this?/
Anakin continued. "I have never been good enough. I have gone from being a slave on Tatooine to Watto, to being a slave of the Jedi Council. If we aren't allowed to attach ourselves to others, what are we saying? Do we really know of love? I have not breached these walls since arriving here when I was nine, except with Obi-Wan. I haven't felt a part of anything until I married Padmé."
Yoda spoke for the first time. "Perhaps there is another way, Anakin Skywalker. Perhaps penance you will do. If you give up your wife, remain you can. Come to far, you have to let it all go now. Finish what you have started, Skywalker."
With that Anakin turned to Obi-Wan. "You were right, I did not have it in me, Master, you should be pleased, the Jedi are rid of me." Anakin saw the hurt and anger on Obi-Wan's face. He softened. "I am sorry that you were given this assignment against your wishes, you deserved better." With that Anakin turned and swept out.
Chapter 5
It had been a year since that day, Anakin thought. A year to the day since he had walked out of the Jedi Order. He and Padmé had moved from the Senatorial apartments to Naboo. Padmé still had her duties and Anakin was now in the Chancellor's guard over off-world holdings. Anakin had his ship, but he cynically felt that was almost it. He had received a note from Palpatine right after he resigned from the Order, stating his future was not in jeopardy with the Republic and that he always had a place, now he could live a normal life. It hadn't worked out exactly that way, but it was better. He hadn't been able to speak with his wife in over a month. He missed talking to her, among other things. He had seen things that would be in his mind forever. He had been part of battles in the war that would haunt him forever. No longer was it just droids and clones, now humans were involved. Whole systems had pledged allegiance to one side or the other and it had gotten worse than any had foreseen.
It also didn't look as if it would be over any time soon. Once he had been deserted on a rim planet. His dead soldier's faces still haunted him. Senator Bail Organa's ship had been hijacked and crashed on the planet. He had to physically carry the almost dead Senator through 25 miles of swamp before his old friends the Jedi had arrived to whisk him away. Anakin had been able to repair his ship with leftover parts from the Alderanian ship, and was able to carry himself back to Dantooine. Organa had thanked him and said he owed his life to Anakin, and would someday like to repay him. Obi-Wan could only look at him. That had hurt Anakin more than he had thought it would. There had been times when he had let his anger and hurt at the Council control his thoughts and feelings. It seemed to take over from somewhere deep inside the little boy that had withstood their arrogance. His nightmares had returned soon after leaving Padmé's side after their departure from Coruscant, and had remained with him for the next year. The dreams always whispered of shadows and sadness from somewhere he could not touch. The only time he slept was at his wife's side. Her presence was the only thing to sooth him when he got like this.
"Lieutenant, come over here please." Anakin summoned one of his officers. "Send a message to the Chancellor and tell him I will be taking one of the personal leaves he has so generously offered me. I will be gone for three weeks. I will have my comm and my mechanodroid Artoo.
**********
Padmé let herself into her bedroom in her senatorial apartments; Dormé had laid out her evening outfit. She looked over to her bedside and noticed her commlink blinking. She ran to it, there could only be one person who had her personal commlink code. Padmé's heart leapt to her throat. He was calling her! She felt giddy and she hadn't even checked her message yet!
She turned the comm on and pressed "playback." Ermé, her handmaiden's voice, came over the speaker. Padmé felt a wave of disappointment. "Milady, your quarters in the lake country have been prepared for you. Your husband sends his wishes for you to join him, he says he grows impatient and lonely." With that Ermé giggled. Anakin was home! "Dormé! Call Captain Typho, tell him to prepare my ships. My documents are in my office for any thing needed while I'm gone! Tell them I don't know when I'll return. I'm taking an extended leave!"
"Is everything alright, Milady?" Dormé came rushing in the room as if the hounds of the underworld were at her feet. Padmé grabbed her in a hug. "No, everything's fine! My husband is home!"
**********
Anakin paced at the docks of the Naboo retreat, he saw the gondola pull up and smiled. Padmé smiled, it seemed forever since he had looked upon his wife's face. When this war is over, we are going to get started making babies, like we should be.
He bent over the gondola and offered Padmé his hand. She took it and pulled him to her in a kiss when she was on the dock.
"So you did miss me!" Anakin smiled mischievously down at her.
She marveled at how tall her husband was each time she saw him. It was like falling in love all over again each time she saw him.
He gave her a wry grin and winked. "I was thinking of how much I was missing Shura fruit and couldn't wait to get home."
Padmé hit his shoulder and grabbed him in another lengthy kiss.
"Uncle Anakin, Aunt Padmé!"
Ryoo and Pooja, her sister's twins, came running towards them. Ryoo launched herself in Anakin's arms. The girl had a soft spot for Anakin and the feeling was definitely mutual. There was something that tugged at Padmé's heart when she watched him with the little girl. Someday she would present him with his own daughter. She smiled a small smile. Maybe they could start tonight...
"Tomorrow is the Life Festival, Uncle Anakin and Aunt Padmé. You will join us." Anakin laughed, it was an order, not a request. Padmé laughed, "Well, if we must." She was more content than she had been in months; she had her family and her husband here. Not only that, her husband was in one piece, and looking better than ever. He felt like home to Padmé now. "I see the hair is a little shorter now, commander." She winked.
"You know the military, I wouldn't go shorter than my padawan days though, and I wouldn't trim the beard." Anakin smiled down at her, "there are some things a man must have his way on". The group made their way into the portico. Anakin put Ryoo down to run in the courtyard. "You know we really need one of those little girl things." He winked.
After dinner as Padmé lay in his arms on the sofa, she thought it funny how a little over two years ago she had sat on this same couch and told Anakin there could be no future for them. She smiled at the way destiny proved that it had its own mind of the way things should go.
"I would give two Republic credits for your thoughts, but who knows how long they will be worth anything..." Anakin smiled down at her.
"I was just thinking it's time to go to bed, Skywalker." Padmé stood up and took his hand placing small kisses on his fingers. She watched his eyes go from ice blue to smoky indigo and smiled. She let go of this hand and ran to the bedroom. "What are you waiting for Skywalker?"
Chapter 6
Anakin tried to pull himself out of his fighter, he had just barely landed on Dantooine when the thruster that had been hit in the dogfight, exploded. The world went black.
When he woke up, he was in the medic chambers of the off world outpost with a medic droid that was poking furiously on his prosthesis. "Ouch! I do believe its still working!" Anakin had no patience for pain anymore, in fact Anakin found his patience with many things sorely lacking these days. His men avoided him like a plague, for they knew he was like a wounded reek lately. He hadn't been home in three months; not only that, he'd only been able to speak to his wife once. He wasn't sleeping, the nightmares forever haunted him. He was beginning to hate this rock called Dantooine. And now, he was laying in a medic chamber, bandaged, tired, sore, depressed and so very weary of it all. He tried to get some rest while he was still medicated, but he soon gave up.
"Good afternoon, Commander Skywalker!", said a feminine voice. It was Dr. Vylkra, the off world physician assigned to Dantooine. "If you promise to get some sleep, I'll tell the lieutenant to bring your holoimage that arrived this afternoon. That is, if you promise to get some sleep."
"I don't want a holoimage. All they bring is more bad news. Tell the lieutenant that unless it is from Palpatine himself, I'm not listening to it." Anakin was tired of his squadron playing nursemaid to every one that got out here and got into trouble because their leader was probably some Jedi, who hadn't the foggiest about military strategy or tactical maneuvers.
"Right away sir, I'll tell the lieutenant to just throw that holo from Naboo right away." She bit her lip as she smiled.
"No! Don't you dare!" He sat straight up with a wince. " Is it my wife? Or have they checked the image yet? Ancients beloved, I hope its not bad news, I grow tired of bad news." He flopped back down on the bed with a sigh, wincing again. He felt a hundred years old.
"Quickly, bring it to me, please." He waved Dr. Vylkra out of the room.
"Yes sir." With that Dr. Vylkra left the room. When she returned she had a palm-sized holopad in her hand.
Anakin pressed the playback switch and waited, his heart beating out of his chest.
"Hello, Ani." Padmé's image flickered then became stable. "I thought about waiting until you came home again to speak with you, but time is passing and I don't know how much longer I can wait to share something with you." She was smiling. Anakin breathed a sigh of relief.
"I hate to tell you over holovid, but it doesn't diminish the joy I'm sure you'll feel, as I do. We're going to have a baby, Ani!" She laughed a pulled the camera away to put her hand on her still flat belly. "What do you think of that?
"I must go now, I'm expected in the Senate in a couple of minutes. I got the news two weeks ago, and am now about to bust with excitement. Come home to me and our baby soon, Ani. And please be safe." The image flickered off, and Anakin sat staring after the image. Dr. Vylkra came back in.
"Sir, are you alright? It wasn't bad news I hope."
Anakin let out a laugh and fell back against the pillows. "Not at all Vylkra, I'm going to be a father! Can you believe that?"
"Congratulations sir! You must hurry and heal so that you can visit your family." Dr. Vylkra took some metrics from his readout. "You're on your way!" She turned and left the room.
Chapter 7
Padmé woke up early, she looked over at her husband who had gotten in late the night before and went straight to bed. He hadn't been sleeping on Dantooine, Padmé knew, and she hated to wake him. He would be home for a month on furlough because they were setting up another squadron and command unit at Sullust. This one would be Anakin's unit. He would control all squadrons and the ground units. A few command unit leaders were stationed here on Naboo for security purposes until the outpost was finished. Padmé was relieved on one hand that he would be out of the day to day battles, but also knew that the responsibility made it more dangerous and demanding and she was likely to see less of him in the coming weeks and months. The battles had become extremely harsh, and reports came into the senate of fighting in the mid-rim, extremely close to home. Every time Padmé heard talk in the halls of units that had felled or of the death toll, she would listen hoping that she wouldn't hear her husband's name. She looked at him again, grazing his cheek with her hand. He looked a little more tired and haggard, but was still the most handsome man in the galaxy in Padmé's eyes and she still couldn't believe he was hers or that she was having his child.
They had just gotten to talk for few minutes before they went to bed, kissing each other briefly and going to sleep. Padmé woke early for breakfast, for it was the beginning of Life Festival on Naboo. She was a little heavier around the middle these days, she thought with a wry smile. She could barely get out of bed with out having to call for Dormé or Ermé. Before she could get herself out of bed, Anakin rolled over put an arm around her thick middle, halting her progress. He smiled, "Good morning." He looked a lot better this morning than he had last night.
"Good morning, my prince." She kissed the tip of his nose. He kept his arm on her abdomen a moment and seemed to be concentrating. "Ani, what are you doing?"
"Just a moment, I'm trying to wake our baby." He grinned.
"You really don't have to do that," she teased. "He has been moving constantly for the last couple of weeks, until it feels like I will get no rest. He fell into a contented slumber last night though, he must have felt you come home."
"So what makes you so sure it's a boy?" Anakin asked, winking. "I'd kind of like to have a girl with brown hair and brown eyes to utterly coddle and spoil. I'd give her anything she wanted, the stars, the suns of Tatooine, a speeder bike...she'll be my little girl. I'd like to see you try to tame a little girl with your spirit, it would serve you right. Having to chase after her every time she almost gets herself hurt because she's too stubborn to know what's good for her. A little of your own medicine, that's what I'd like see you get." He winked again. "What do think of that, hmmm, Senator?"
Padmé hit him on the arm. "I bet that's what you'd like, but I'm going to get my gentle, sweet, wise boy. He will really be like me, unless he gets impatient like you." Padmé's look turned serious, "I want him to have your hair and your eyes, and your smile. I want him to have your honor. I want him to have your passion for life and your sense of humor." She laughed at him then. "Don't worry, if we don't get what we want, we can always keep trying."
Anakin reached up and kissed her then. "My thoughts exactly."
Padmé stood up and stretched. Anakin stood and put a hand on her tummy, he then bent on his knees and put his head against her abdomen, listening. He felt a small movement and turned and put his forehead and his hand against her middle. He spoke quietly, "May you always know I am with you, whatever happens, in the end I am with you."
Padmé looked down at his face, his eyes closed, and felt tears prick her own eyes. "Ani, what's wrong? Why are you saying that, of course you'll be with him." He seemed to be telling their child something through the Force, and it made her a little anxious.
He looked up at her and smiled, his hand still on her large stomach. "Of course I will be."
**********
"You called, my lord." Tyrannus bowed to his Emperor.
"Yes, Lord Tyrannus, it is time we began our attack. Are your troops gathered?"
"Yes, your Excellency, we await your command."
"Good, good, you have done well, my apprentice, you have done well. First thing tomorrow morning before sunrise, we attack Naboo. I want nothing left of the planet surface when the armies are done."
Tyrannus gauged his master for moment, trying to see if maybe this was a trick. This was his home planet, after all, wasn't it? Then again, the Emperor was not one to dawdle with games. He bowed. "As you wish, my master." He strode out of the room, his cape swirling behind him.
Chapter 8
"Uncle Anakin! Pick me up next!"
Padmé laughed as she watched her niece Pooja hang on Anakin's arm. Ryoo was chortling to be next.
"You next!?! Why you weigh a Corellian ton, you will have to pick me up!" Anakin was having as much fun as the children.
She watched him with them and knew he was going to be a wonderful father. He seemed so in tune with her nieces' emotions that it puzzled Padmé sometimes.
He was an open book with children and Padmé suspected that the girls identified with the childlike jubilancy and spontaneity deep inside her husband. Yes, he could be rash, sometimes even reckless, yet often she worried that the war and the Jedi had "tamed" too much of that out of him, even to his detriment.
That night, as she lay sleeping in her husband's arms she dreamed of meadows and picnics (and fire) and a little girl with dark hair and a blue eyed little boy, she and Anakin were there -- together with their...children? In the dream, Anakin carried the girl to the blanket, where he swung her with a laugh onto the blanket. Suddenly, a wall of flames erupted around Anakin as if it were a cage, the tongues of flames taunting her as she tried to reach for her husband and lover. He looked at her then, his eyes pleading... Help me, Padmé! I can't leave her! Who was he talking to? She couldn't touch him, she tried to grab his hands and pull, but her hands went through him as if he were a ghost. She turned to her children. They looked up at her somberly, with sad, knowing eyes, shaking their heads as she came towards them...then they disappeared...
Padmé awoke with Anakin shaking her.
"Padmé! Wake up!" Anakin leaned over her on his elbow. He was frightened. They had been through their share of frightening times. "Are you alright? You were screaming..." Anakin asked, his concern etched on his face.
Padmé continued to stare at him, horrified, her eyes wide as saucers... It seemed so real... Anakin was stroking her hair from her face, it was wet, her gown was wet, she must have been sweating, she thought. "I'm okay. It was just a nightmare." Something in her tugged to not bother Anakin with this, as if it would make it real to speak of it out loud. She rarely dreamed, she was one of those people that could sleep dreamlessly and had been all of her life. If she did dream, she never remembered them... Anakin had nightmares all of the time, she supposed he had learned to deal with them at this point in his life, she thought sadly.
She looked at him, and put a hand on his cheek. If this is what it was like, no wonder Anakin didn't sleep when he was away much. She had never realized what he must go through waking from your horrors every morning to face new ones in reality. "I'll be fine, I heard these come with pregnancy." She moved his hand to her abdomen.
He smiled down at her, "I love you."
He sensed he needed to be the strong one this time. He had a fierce desire to strangle the life out of anything that would present itself to cause his wife pain or heartbreak, be it real or imagined. It frightened him that he couldn't protect his wife from his nightmares now, it seemed. Visions of his mother flashed in his mind.
"I love you too, Anakin," Padmé said seriously as she reached up and kissed him.
He mentally shook the encroaching darkness that was skirting the edges of his consciousness away as he folded his wife into the crook of his arm and pulled her head to his chest.
"I will always protect you Padmé, I swear to you."
I swear to you.
**********
A distant explosion rocked Anakin out of his uneasy slumber. What the Sith hell is going on? Suddenly, unconscious movement moved him into action, as the Force slapped his focus to attention, he looked to his wife.
Padmé quickly got out of bed. "Oh gods, they are attacking Theed." She moved fast, despite her cumbersome state. She went for the handmaidens' rooms. "Dormé!"
Anakin was on autopilot. "Artoo, See-threepio! Get in here quick!" he yelled as threw on clothes.
Suddenly the villa was mass confusion and panic. The droids came shuffling quickly into the bedroom.
Padmé returned with Ermé, Rosé and Dormé on her heels. All were struggling with clothing.
He looked at the droids, focusing on Threepio. "You two stay right there until I tell you to move," Anakin ordered.
As he pulled his boots on, he looked at his wife. "You ladies do the same," he managed somewhat softer, his own panic getting the best of him.
"I'm going to find Typho and secure a ship." He ran down the hall and out the door.
**********
Anakin returned with Captain Typho and three Nubian security guards.
"Come on, we have transport in the city, but its filling up quick. We aren't going to have time to get you into the Queen's transport. It's at the palace. Once we get off the island, there is a Corellian freighter at the dock, they are pretty fast," Typho said as he glanced uneasily at Anakin.
"What about the people? We have to get transport for people into the Gungan City at least!" Padmé's voice rose as she whirled on Typho.
"You and your handmaidens are not going to the Gungans, Padmé," Anakin said. His tone was grave.
"I can't just leave!" Panic rose in Padmé's throat. It was not a feeling she was used to. She was usually the calm one, the one in control. The war had obviously matured her husband a great deal, a good thing.
Anakin's voice booked no argument as he swept around to look at her, his cape moving in one smooth, fluid motion. He jabbed the gloved finger of his artificial hand at the air as if to drive the point home. "You are getting off planet. I mean it, Padmé."
He threw some clothes into a small bag. He whirled around and grabbed two lightsabers, the green one he'd kept from Geonosis and his own.
The explosions seemed to be getting closer.
He grabbed a blaster, just in case, he thought silently, and hooked it into his belt.
He picked Padmé up and moved faster than she'd ever seen. Fear was starting to snake itself into Padmé, up from her belly, slowly wrapping a cold hand around her heart.
Please just let my baby make it through this. Let us be safe and together in the end. Keep my people safe. Keep my Ani safe. She prayed fervently and silently, remembering the nightmare she'd had earlier.
She had been through many battles and troubling times, but this felt different. The gray seemed to envelop her vision as she tried to will positive things to happen. She felt helpless against this dread that seemed to seep into her from the very air.
She looked up at Anakin's face. How strong and grand he is. His beautiful, handsome face is a map I can read in my sleep. She jerked from the thoughts quickly. Why in Naboo's hell am I thinking like this? I am in the middle of deserting the planet of my birth! She felt distanced from her body as these feelings wound their way around her, as though the Force were protecting her by making her thoughts simplistic, almost childish.
The group moved quickly out into the night and to the dock. Anakin's boot falls were hypnotizing to Padmé as he hurried across the patio of the lake house, his pace quickening with each blast heard. His steps were smooth as he carried her, trying to protect both her and his unborn child. Soon they would be on a ship and their lives would be forever changed. Padmé knew this, as surely as the sun sets in the evening, Padmé knew this.
As the gondolas pulled up to the dock at the freight station, the hairs stood up on the back of Anakin's neck.
Why did this feel like the last time he would see this place?
He looked down at Padmé, who had laid her head on his lap to overcome the nauseous feeling the water was giving her. He was really starting to worry, his wife was pregnant, and her condition was not one he was familiar with. He had rarely, if ever, seen her in this state. She was almost a rag doll and the fear seemed to be overcoming her. This was the woman who had led a ragtag group of security officers against the Trade Federation.
The gondolas slid into the docks at the harbor in Theed. Padmé sat up as Anakin pulled her to him. "Are you okay?" he asked anxiously. "Padmé, are you okay?" He realized he had shaken her slightly, and pulled her close. "I'm sorry, I just can't stand the thought of you..." He didn't get to finish his sentence.
An explosion rocked the gondola even though it was coming from a few miles away. They wouldn't have time to get the Gungans. Anakin silently hoped that they would be able to hold their own, if they needed to. Gungan City would be hard to stumble on if they didn't mean to be found.
As they got out of the boats, they saw people were frantically trying to find loved ones. The explosions in the distance rattled window panes and tossed vegetation.
Padmé glanced wildly around, seeing her home planet becoming ruins around her. Anakin grabbed Padmé by the upper arms. "Listen to me, you can do nothing about this at this moment. When you are safe, we can get word to the Jedi and the military. Padmé, listen to me, you have to be brave. We will get you somewhere safe, to Alderaan, and I will come to you. I'll see if I can get Bail Organa involved, he owes me. Maybe Obi Wan too. We'll get the Chancellor involved, it'll be alright, Angel, I promise," Anakin pleaded. Padmé looked him blankly.
He knew her world was literally crumbling around her. He felt a sudden rage at the separatists that threatened to overtake him.
How dare they hurt his wife! He had stood by and watched this long enough. By all tht was holy, this must be taken care of. They needed order. This had stopped being about trade routes a long time ago. The galaxy was falling apart around them.
He would have to get word to the Chancellor soon, this was his planet too. Explosions were going off, knocking him out of his reverie. Anakin could now see droid battleships landing in the distance, his heart fell into his stomach. The feeling of dread overcame him and he looked into the Force. This war was hitting close to home now.
He saw the Corellian freighter pull up and pulled Dormé and Captain Typho off to the side. "I will try to get as many people as I can on board. You'll have to count and make sure the ship doesn't get too full. Send for more ships as soon as possible." He bent lower. "But whatever you do, make su |